


Closet

by Lakritzwolf



Series: Flufftober 2018 [25]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: M/M, caught in the closet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 14:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16409909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lakritzwolf/pseuds/Lakritzwolf





	Closet

Initially, Fili and Kili had been looking forward to the party at their friend’s house. Ori had been talking about it for weeks, and how happy he would be if his two best friends could be there too. And since you don’t say no to your best friend when he wants you to attend his special celebration after graduation, they had said yes.

What Ori had failed to mention was that ‘party’ for him meant not the same as ‘party’ meant for Fili and Kili. The vast majority of guests were Ori’s family, and those who weren’t, were under close scrutiny of Ori’s brothers. There wasn’t a single drop of booze in sight.

“Should’ve been suspicious when he said the party starts at three in the afternoon,” Kili whispered as they tried to inconspicuously sidle into the kitchen.  
“There’s no reason to not start drinking that early,” Fili replied in a whisper too. “But we should’ve known, really.”

Not that the two had high hopes of finding anything interesting to drink in Ori’s kitchen – this was Ori after all – but maybe something other than tea. At least a coffee would’ve been nice.

What they found in the kitchen was someone who seemed to have barely fit through the door, was covered in tattoos and piercings, and was currently munching his way through the third pack of Oreos, to judge by the empty wrapping lying around.

He jumped and froze, a guilty look in his eyes, quickly stuffed the last cookie into his mouth and gestured at them to be silent.

“Sorry lads,” he muttered in a heavy Scottish accent. “I shouldna ha’ been here before dinner but I was early, and...” He looked around and lowered his voice even more. “Ori’s brothers aren’t supposed tae know I’m here, okay lads? I thought those stuffy snobs were gone by now.”  
“And...” Kili looked him up and down. “Who are you... and how did you get inside?”  
“Name’s Dwalin,” the giant said with a grin. “I’m a... ah... friend of Ori’s.”  
“Friend.” Fili lifted his eyebrows.  
“Shh.” Dwalin looked around again. “Ye’re Ori’s friends? Ye like the lad, aye? Then dinna tell a soul I’m here. ‘M just grabbin’ a wee bite tae eat ‘fore I’m hidin’ out in the shed.”

Fili and Kili exchanged a look, and both shrugged simultaneously. They left the kitchen again, as a favour to their friends so they wouldn’t draw attention there, and headed upstairs. They knew Ori’s room, and weren’t surprised that his two housemates weren’t at home. Ori’s family events were notorious.

“And now?” Kili asked as he fell down onto the bed.  
“No idea.” Fili sat down next to him. “Ori doesn’t even have a tellie up here.”  
“We can’t just leave, can we?”  
“No,” Fili sighed. “But he said his brothers aren’t staying for dinner so we just have to kill some time until then.”

They looked at each other. A mischievous little smile appeared on Kili’s face.

“Seriously?” Fili leaned forward. “Bit risky, innit?”  
“No risk, no fun.”  
“Making out in your best friend’s bed while he and his family are sitting downstairs?”

Kili’s only reply was a grin.

Minutes later Fili had him on his back and was busily undoing Kili’s belt as they kissed, messily and hungrily, and they didn’t exactly watch the time. It was the sound of heavy footsteps that alerted them to their imminent discovery, and in this situation, with pants around their ankles and flushed faces and messed hair, there was only one route of escape.

Not that Ori’s closet was particularly big, but it was infinitely better than being literally caught with your pants down. There was no room to move, however, so no chance of sorting their wardrobe again before exiting the closet. They both silently prayed that Ori hadn’t come up here to change.

Only to realise it wasn’t Ori.

“Christ, laddie, I thought those eggheads would never leave.”

_What’s he doing up here?_ Fili mouthed silently, but Kili could only shrug. Barely so, due to the lack of space, but still.

“I know. They’re terrible. But they’re my brothers.” A coy giggle. “Family, eh?”

Fili and Kili exchanged a look of abject horror.

Apparently, ‘friend’ had been a bit of an understatement on Dwalin’s part.

The two heard a few footsteps followed by a very meaningful silence. Then the rustling of clothes. And...

Moans. Definitely. Sigh and moans and...

“Oh god,” Kili whispered and closed his eyes. “Please don’t let them...”

The bedsprings went _glink_ , and Ori giggled. Then the bedsprings went _GLANK_ , and the giggling stopped.

The two trapped in the closet by some very poor recent life choices now had to listen to the rustling of clothes, chuckles, giggles and moans, and Dwalin complaining about a condom wrapper.

Kili and Fili held on to each other for dear life, forced to listen to the symphony of moans and grunts accompanied by the rhythmic squeaks and creaks of the bedsprings.

And whatever Dwalin was doing, Ori obviously agreed with him.

Very loudly.

And a lot.

It felt like forever, but when the noise had finally died down, both Fili and Kili had lost approximately ten years of their life expectancy. Darkness fell, and what little light had reached them inside the closet through cracks and the keyhole vanished now and left them in complete darkness.

But the darkness was also accompanied by the sweetest and most welcome sound to have ever graced their ears: the sound of two men heartily snoring.

It took them a good ten minutes at least to painstakingly carefully inch the door open to avoid any sound. And holding on to belts and belt buckles so nothing would rattle or rustle, they tiptoed out of the room as best as they could considering they didn’t dare pull their trousers back up.

They set a new record in getting your pants on as soon as they had closed the door to Ori’s room again, and made a silent and very hasty retreat. And when they had finally reached the safety of their own home they went to raid the fridge, but it was an unspoken accord between them that there wasn’t enough alcohol in the world to erase that particular memory.


End file.
